I'm at school. I wander the halls, hoping any of the girls I like will say hi to me. I wander. I wander for a few millenia, and finally the bell rings. I have a few teachers. They are, Mr. Rivers, Mr. Big Mama, Mr. Mostly Bald, Mrs. Smile, Ms. Boring, Bro. Disney, and Ms. Math.
Mr. Big Mama is the best. His class is always so entertaining, but it's filled with tourists. Who don't really like me, or think I'm odd. Mr. Rivers' class is full of stupid sophmores. Ugh. Mrs. Smile's class is also fun, because Girl Who Is Cute #1 comes in after her own class. I call her Fashion.
The second girl I like is in Ms. Math's class. She is so intriguing, I just can't figure her out. I call her Professor Laytoness. Girl three I stopped in the hallways because she looked familiar, but it wasn't who I thought it was. Somehow we became friends and we talk often. I call her Southern Girl.
So, I go, day by day, hoping something happens, but not taking any action. Why? I'm too scared. I've been rejected too many times to count. I have terrible self esteem. Why, because I was rejected.
I was on top of the world, but not cocky. I thought I was an average looking guy, not the best. I thought I was decently funny, not hilarious. Now I think I'm a wimpy, ugly, stupid freak of awkwardness. Not even pity pities me. I'm just a huge ball of bad self esteem.
I don't say this to make you pity me. Trust me. I don't do any sob story or reverse psychology for that. I tried it in eighth grade. Didn't work. Never going back.
I tell you this so you can remember one thing: Anyone, whether fat or skinny, whether handsome, cute or ugly, whether smart or stupid, whether funny or idiotic, etc. etc., is worth your time.
Reach out to people. DON'T LET WHAT HAPPENED TO ME HAPPEN TO ANYBODY ELSE!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
I Pro 'prose'. HA!
A bale of hay, is always under those buildings.
Wail, then juking and jiving.
Like some clay, a ball, a brilliant ball.
Like an uncut, rough diamond.
Frizzy hair, it is my disorder.
With the Vietnam war, strings down around your shoulders.
The fly in my soup is doing the breast stroke.
Feel like your perfect around me, you don't ever seem to.
Tomorrow, I'll stick up my chin, and grin.
Cause I'd throw myself in front of a grenade for you.
Wail, then juking and jiving.
Like some clay, a ball, a brilliant ball.
Like an uncut, rough diamond.
Frizzy hair, it is my disorder.
With the Vietnam war, strings down around your shoulders.
The fly in my soup is doing the breast stroke.
Feel like your perfect around me, you don't ever seem to.
Tomorrow, I'll stick up my chin, and grin.
Cause I'd throw myself in front of a grenade for you.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Hear the Blueberry Roar!
What?! No, I'm not high. Here is the story:
It's 11:01 P.M. and the grocery store owner has just licked up and is out the door. As soon as it closes, the Blueberries roar! They roll to the sauce section and hop aboard Thai Sauce Fighters and Bombers. Some are kamikaze pilots, others sacrifice their lives and volunteer as a Blueberry Bomb. They load up, and then fly over to all the other berries. They talk strategy on the flight, weighing their strenghths and weaknesses.
They fight Strawberries, who are teamed up with pounding cake. They fight Blackberries, who are teamed up with with Whipping Cream. They fight Raspberries, who are paired up with honey. They realize they are the better fruit, and deserve dominion over the Grocery Store.
As they near their destination, the cry rang out, "Blueberries!"
"Sir!" cried a lesser general to the Colonel. "It seems all berry teams and their allies have joined forces. And the Jelly Donuts have joined them!"
"Curse them!" screamed the Colonel. "Curse them all! Prepare the Blueberry bombs!" As he said this, troops of Blueberries ready to risk their lives for the cause of Blue Dominion queued up, ready to dive. A few moments later, the Thai Fighters were bombarded with Strawberries flung from the catapults.
"Ready?!" bellowed the Colonel. "First unit, dive!" The first few hundred blueberries jumped. The crowd of food below were pelted by raining blueberries. The honey and the whipping cream below had made sticky, web-like nets, which the Pounding Cake chucked at the oncoming blueberries.
About 95% of the Blueberries hit the defenders below. Blackberries, Strawberries, and Pounding Cake were hit with Blueberries, leaving the Pounding Cake with many dark blue, skeewompus splotches. 4% were caught in the webs, left to have their inside sugars crystalize (for torture). 1% didn't hit anything. They had simply sacrificed their juicy, seedy, little lives just to harmlessly splat on the tile.
Again, no, I was not high or tired when I wrote this, thanks for asking.
It's 11:01 P.M. and the grocery store owner has just licked up and is out the door. As soon as it closes, the Blueberries roar! They roll to the sauce section and hop aboard Thai Sauce Fighters and Bombers. Some are kamikaze pilots, others sacrifice their lives and volunteer as a Blueberry Bomb. They load up, and then fly over to all the other berries. They talk strategy on the flight, weighing their strenghths and weaknesses.
They fight Strawberries, who are teamed up with pounding cake. They fight Blackberries, who are teamed up with with Whipping Cream. They fight Raspberries, who are paired up with honey. They realize they are the better fruit, and deserve dominion over the Grocery Store.
As they near their destination, the cry rang out, "Blueberries!"
"Sir!" cried a lesser general to the Colonel. "It seems all berry teams and their allies have joined forces. And the Jelly Donuts have joined them!"
"Curse them!" screamed the Colonel. "Curse them all! Prepare the Blueberry bombs!" As he said this, troops of Blueberries ready to risk their lives for the cause of Blue Dominion queued up, ready to dive. A few moments later, the Thai Fighters were bombarded with Strawberries flung from the catapults.
"Ready?!" bellowed the Colonel. "First unit, dive!" The first few hundred blueberries jumped. The crowd of food below were pelted by raining blueberries. The honey and the whipping cream below had made sticky, web-like nets, which the Pounding Cake chucked at the oncoming blueberries.
About 95% of the Blueberries hit the defenders below. Blackberries, Strawberries, and Pounding Cake were hit with Blueberries, leaving the Pounding Cake with many dark blue, skeewompus splotches. 4% were caught in the webs, left to have their inside sugars crystalize (for torture). 1% didn't hit anything. They had simply sacrificed their juicy, seedy, little lives just to harmlessly splat on the tile.
Again, no, I was not high or tired when I wrote this, thanks for asking.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunshine
Sunshine on my shoulder. . .makes my shoulders melt.
Sunshine in my eyes makes me sad.
Its cloudy and frigid. I'm wearing three shirts, two pairs of pants, two pairs of socks, and yet I'm still freezing. I walk around to get warm. I slap my cold parts. I do jumping jacks. I stuff my fingers under my armpits. Nothing helps.
And then the sun comes out. Its very rays of light seem to pour warmth all over my body, heating me, causing me to feel elated.
But then it goes behind the clouds again. I feel the frigid air closing around me, and I don't know what to do, when suddenly, it comes out again. Again, warmth spreads throughout my entire body, encasing me in a soft, golden glow.
But then you say you have to go to class. You turn, and you walk away, and unknown to you, the sun just set on me.
Sunshine in my eyes makes me sad.
Its cloudy and frigid. I'm wearing three shirts, two pairs of pants, two pairs of socks, and yet I'm still freezing. I walk around to get warm. I slap my cold parts. I do jumping jacks. I stuff my fingers under my armpits. Nothing helps.
And then the sun comes out. Its very rays of light seem to pour warmth all over my body, heating me, causing me to feel elated.
But then it goes behind the clouds again. I feel the frigid air closing around me, and I don't know what to do, when suddenly, it comes out again. Again, warmth spreads throughout my entire body, encasing me in a soft, golden glow.
But then you say you have to go to class. You turn, and you walk away, and unknown to you, the sun just set on me.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Help!
Someone please help me! How does one become attractive in girls eyes?
Is it:
a. Being Tough
b. Being Handsome
c. Being Funny
d. Being Smart
e. Being Kind
f. All of the Above
I need your help! Please tell me what needs to happen!
Is it:
a. Being Tough
b. Being Handsome
c. Being Funny
d. Being Smart
e. Being Kind
f. All of the Above
I need your help! Please tell me what needs to happen!
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